celebrities unexpected kindness is basically my emotional support animal at this point. im in my kitchen right now, and ohio november is doing that thing where it rains sideways, so my coffee’s cold again (shocker), plus theres a chip bag open on the counter that i swear wasnt there five minutes ago. meanwhile dog’s staring at me like i owe him rent. anyway i saw this keanu thing the other day and lost it, like full on ugly cry in my hoodie. so heres the list before i forget half of it
why celebrities unexpected kindness still gets me even tho i hate people
first off, i’m not nice. for example i once told a telemarketer my name was “leave me alone” and hung up. but when some famous person does something dumb and sweet?? im done. toast. moreover its never the big stuff, instead its the oops i helped someone and didnt mean for anyone to see
1. keanu and the tire thing
so i was up way too late scrolling and suddenly there’s keanu on the side of the road in a beanie looking like a sad puppy but also a hero?? family’s car is dead, so he’s just… fixing it. no cameras. mom’s crying, kid’s got a melted candy bar. consequently i paused my leftover pizza to yell “SIR” at my phone. therefore celebrities unexpected kindness should come with a warning label
tried to be keanu once
so naturally i try this at the gas station last week. lady’s got a flat, so i drop the wrench, then it rolls under her car, and next i crawl after it and yell “YOUR CAR IS EATING MY TOOLS MAAM” she laughed though. i call that a tie
2. taylor swift wrote a whole book
not a card. a BOOK. for instance fan said their cat died or something and then taylor sends three pages front and back. celebrities unexpected kindness meanwhile i read it eating cereal at 1am and choked on a marshmallow. she wrote “grief is love with no address” or whatever and i was NOT okay.
3. chris hemsworth at the airport
imagine this: dude’s got a kid screaming, diaper bag the size of a couch, celebrities unexpected kindness applesauce everywhere. so thor grabs the bag and then starts making airplane noises with a napkin. kid shuts up. dad cries. meanwhile i watched this in a chipotle bathroom stall don’t @ me
my airport disaster
so i tried helping a mom once. then i got stuck in the stroller. next i yelled “THE WHEELS HAVE A MIND OF THEIR OWN” while everyone stared. never again
4 thru 10 real quick before my laptop dies
- first 4 billie eilish facetimed a fan mid panic attack. felt that
- then 5 tom hanks sent a typewriter. ribbon was red. RED
- next 6 zendaya paid for groceries when the card got declined. i was in line behind them pretending to read soup labels
- also 7 post malone tipped 3 grand at waffle house. the hashbrowns were extra
- meanwhile 8 ryan reynolds zoomed a kids bday as deadpool. cake said “you’re 6 i’m unkillable”
- then 9 gaga stopped her concert to hug a kid with a bullying sign. dropped the mic after
- finally 10 paul rudd gave cookies to voters. dude dropped one, so paul gave him another and said “for emotional damage”
im a hypocrite and thats fine
ok your turn
next time you see someone drop their keys or whatever, so pick em up. or don’t. just dont film it for clout
comment your favorite celebrities unexpected kindness moment mine is still hemsworth with the diaper bag. still processing
links cuz google scary
