Biggest trailer reactions this month? yeah they straight up ambushed me last thursday night when i was supposed to be “just checking twitter real quick” before bed. ended up face-down in a bag of flamin hot cheetos at 3:17am screaming about pedro pascal’s stretchy arms in the fantastic four teaser. my left sock has orange dust permanently fused to it now. dont @ me.
why biggest trailer reactions always wreck my vibe (and my apartment)
like clockwork, every time a new trailer drops i tell myself “cool cool i’ll watch it once and go to sleep like a functional adult.” cut to me four hours later googling “is it normal to cry over a 2-minute sizzle reel” while my cat judges me from the windowsill. the gladiator II trailer? that shit had me pausing every 3 seconds to zoom in on denzel’s hand-washing scene. hand-washing. i’m unwell.
that one time i accidentally live-tweeted my breakdown
ok so the wicked part two trailer hit and i—look, i blacked out. next thing i know i’ve posted a 47-second voice memo to my instagram story just wheezing about cynthia erivo’s belt. my old college roommate dmed me “girl are u ok” and i replied with a gif of elphaba screaming. biggest trailer reactions turn me into a feral raccoon with wifi.check the official wicked trailer here if you dare.
- life hack i learned the hard way: put your phone on airplane mode before trailers.
- also: maybe don’t eat spicy snacks at 2am unless you want heartburn and emotional damage.
biggest trailer reactions i saw in the wild (paramus amc, send help)
so i dragged my broke ass to the amc in paramus—yes the one where the floor sticks to your sneakers like flypaper—and the thunderbolts* trailer played before venom 3. this absolute legend two rows up leapt out of his seat and started air-punching like florence pugh personally invited him to the cookout. popcorn everywhere. i got a kernel in my bra. filmed the whole thing, posted it, now it’s at 2.7 million views and counting. caption? “biggest trailer reactions: live from the sticky zone.”
the trailers that didn’t spark biggest trailer reactions (and i’m lowkey pressed)
moana 2 trailer dropped and… crickets? my niece watched it with the enthusiasm of someone filing taxes. where’s the meltdown disney?? i need dwayne johnson surfing lava while i choke on my blue raspberry icee!!! “it’s fine” is not a valid biggest trailer reaction, child.
my totally unhinged power ranking (don’t @ me)
- gladiator II – blood! sweat! denzel washing hands like he invented hygiene! 11/10
- fantastic four – pedro in spandex. i need a paper bag to breathe into.
- thunderbolts* – florence smirk = factory reset my brain
- wicked part two – that note lives in my walls now
- moana 2 – cute but i didn’t spill a single beverage. automatic dq
biggest trailer reactions: the psychology of why we lose our entire minds
it’s not the vfx or the cast (ok it’s a little the cast). it’s the hope. two minutes of distilled copium that maybe this time the movie won’t flop. when the music hits? when the title card slams? i’m ugly-crying into my hoodie sleeve like i just watched my dog learn to talk. every time. no exceptions.
anyway i’m still vibrating. my sleep schedule’s in the trash, my phone’s sticky, and i’ve rewatched the gladiator II trailer 52 times (yes i counted again). drop your own biggest trailer reactions in the comments—i need to know i’m not the only disaster. or just go rewatch the fantastic four teaser and text your situationship “sorry wrong chat.” i won’t tell.
