dude major movie releases this week are legit wrecking my brain and my bank account and im just sitting here in my pg room in noida the fan making that weird rattling noise like its about to take off and im wearing the same tshirt i slept in last night bc laundry who?? anyway i was up till 4am watching trailers on jio cinema with one airpod dead and the other barely hanging on and now im ready to vomit my unfiltered messy takes before i accidentally send this to my boss instead of my group chat lets do this
why major movie releases this week are making me wanna hide under my blanket: predator badlands
predator badlands drops 7th nov and im already sweating like i owe the yautja money. dan trachtenberg (yeah the prey dude) decided to yeet elle fanning and a baby predator called dek onto some hell planet with lava and synthetic humans and im here stress eating cold hakka noodles straight from the box. trailer had this one scene where dek gets abandoned and i legit paused to ugly cry into my pillow—dont @ me. last time i tried to “prep” for a predator movie i attempted burpees during the credits. ended up faceplanting into my roommate’s biryani. 0/10 do not recommend. tickets here before i panic buy the entire row again
- hack: sneak in glowsticks the theater’s darker than my future
- dont: try to diy predator dreads with pipe cleaners. i did. got stuck in my hair for 3 hours
major movie releases this week that are exposing my parenting fails: die my love
same day lynne ramsay drops die my love and bro jennifer lawrence going full postpartum spiral with robert pattinson as the husband who probably forgets to buy milk?? im clutching my cold coffee like its gonna save me. last month i tried to babysit my cousin’s kid and accidentally let them watch chota bheem on 2x speed. this movie’s gonna call me out harder than my mom on whatsapp video call. its messy its raw its the kinda thriller that makes you mute your family group for a week. grab seats a24 link before i book the corner seat for my existential crisis
the major movie releases this week dash: the running man and glen powell’s legs
nov 14th the running man hits and edgar wright turned the 80s cheese into satire so sharp it could cut my student loan debt. glen powell running from assassins in a dystopian game show while im here running from my landlord?? im on the metro typing this the window’s all foggy from delhi pollution and i swear i just saw powell’s silhouette sprint past igi airport. my cardio consists of running for the last auto at 11pm. check it lionsgate. also dropping: now you see me 3 (heist popcorn perfect for when badlands leaves you dehydrated from screaming) and keeper (cabin horror that’ll make me sleep with my torch on). oh and trap house—dave bautista vs his own kids?? diwali family dinner who
anyway im done go scream in a dark room with me
whew major movie releases this week are my diwali my birthday my excuse to ignore my internship emails for 48 hours. learned the hard way: overhype and you’ll sob in the auto ride home; skip and you’ll be that guy asking “what happened” in the group chat. my dumb advice? hit pvr this weekend smuggle samosas (i wont snitch) and ping me your takes—i’ll be the one live tweeting from the loo. whats your pick?? comment before i accidentally send voice notes at 4am again. chalte hai fam 🎬
Outbound Link: grab tickets here before I accidentally book for the wrong PVR again
